Away from home

When you’re away for two and a half months from home, you learn a lot of things about yourself and your family. Some are quite meaningful and/or disturbing: how much time do you actually want to spend with your toddler every day, or the best time of day to have a real conversation with your spouse. Others may seem mundane but are also revelatory: how much laundry detergent do you use in two and half months? How much shampoo? (Answers: a lot more than I thought, and less than I expected). I know which parts of the kitchen I never touched and which clothes I never wore.

Memory is also relative to place and context. My knowledge of this operation is of course better than the last two Gaza ones because I was here, but I may also remember other things better because I’m not at home. For example, I’ll probably remember the date of the Malaysian airplane crash or remember Robin Williams’ death better than some other celebrity because it happened this summer. I’ll remember that the time D first wore nail polish or H first went swimming were summer 2014. Going away divides life up into units that don’t exist at home, for good or bad. This has been studied, of course, to maximize test preparation, with some studies recommending taking practice exams in the room where the real test will be held. But I think it’s an argument for variation in life: change your location and change not just your luck but what you remember, which is really how you perceive the world.